Broken
by My Alibi
Summary: Jacen and Tenel Ka, lightyears apart, are stuck in the same spiral of doubt and innocent love.


Broken  
  
Summary // Jacen Solo thinks for awhile about the only person he's ever loved... and wonders if she'll ever feel the same about him. Tenel Ka sits and thinks about how much her childhood friend has changed. [Tenel Ka/Jacen]  
  
Disclaimer // I do not own EU Star Wars, any of these characters, or the song by Seether I stole these lyrics from. (Btw, the song is "Broken" by Seether f. Amy Lee from Evanesence)  
  
=*=*=*=  
  
Jacen Solo looked into the mirror in his Courascant quarters, the remnants of what had been a quiet celebration between friends littering his coffee table. His sister, a few old friends... but not her.  
  
She hadn't been there, though he hadn't really expected it. They hadn't talked a lot since he'd returned from what everyone had assumed was his death on Myrk.   
  
He wanted to kick himself. He'd changed, but so had she. She was the Queen Mother of Hapes, now. He sighed. She would have no use for an old friend like him; though they could have been so much more once.  
  
[[I want you to know I love the way you laugh  
  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away]]  
  
A faint smile crossed his face when he thought of her, these days. The days they'd spent on Yavin 4, the best days of his life. All those stupid jokes he'd told just to make her smile. To make her laugh.   
  
Her laughter was like music.  
  
But the war had taken it's toll on Hapes, as anywhere else. She was busy. Their last conversation had been tense to put it lightly.   
  
He just wished they'd been given a proper chance.  
  
[[I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well  
  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain]]  
  
He crossed to his dresser and produced an old holo taken of the two of them when they'd still been on Yavin 4, at the academy. So long ago. She wasn't smiling, but she did look content. The stupid grin on his face was enough to compensate for her.   
  
Red gold braids around her thin face. She was breathtaking. She was the only person he'd ever really loved, and he'd never once admitted it.  
  
If he could only see her one more time...  
  
[[Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough]]  
  
He sighed. No, it hadn't worked then it wouldn't work now that so much was different. They might never be that close again.   
  
He bit his lower lip thoughtfully. All those happy memories. Tenel Ka, princess of Hapes and warrior of Dathomir, his best friend and the person next to his twin who knew the most about him.  
  
He had never admitted how he'd felt to her. Probably never would have. He'd been too shy, before. He'd been too quiet.   
  
Not anymore, but he was in no position to tell her how he still felt after all this time.   
  
[[Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
  
And I don't feel light when you're gone away]]  
  
They'd grown apart. Neither had intended it, he knew. But it had happened. He just wished he'd told her all that time ago.  
  
Suddenly his apartment felt larger, more empty. He smiled, a lonesome, false little smile.  
  
"Tenel Ka..." he muttered into the night.  
  
[[The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away]]  
  
She stood on one of the highest balconies of the palace and stared into the starry skies. She had a million things she should have been doing instead, now that the war was over. Hapes needed to rebuild. She was in charge of that.  
  
But these few minutes every evening were all hers. No one dared intrude.  
  
But lately a single person had clouded her mind. Jacen Solo. Once her impish best friend, he had become more. He was the only man she'd ever loved, and would ever.   
  
But he was so different now, as she herself was. If only fate would let them try.   
  
But no. Jacen hadn't even shown interest in renewing an old friendship. He would never return her feelings.   
  
[[There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain]]  
  
The war was over. No more fighting, and time for the peace they'd all fought for. Hapes deserved it, as did it's Queen Mother.   
  
She flexed her hand. She still grew lonely, like everyone did. She was still a woman, like any other, who craved love.   
  
But she could only love him, she knew. There was no one else for her.   
  
"Jacen." she muttered.  
  
[[Cause I'm broken when I'm open   
  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough]]  
  
If only one more chance. What would her mother have done?  
  
Her mother had fought for her husband, the man she loved. She'd fought so hard.   
  
Could a daughter do any less to honor her mother's legacy?   
  
She turned and entered her rooms. If nothing else, a call over the newly repaired HoloNet couldn't hurt. Even renewing their friendship was a good start.   
  
[[Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away]]  
  
Jacen turned to his HoloNet receiver, intending to place a call to her when it rang. He started and answered it.   
  
"Friend Jacen..."   
  
His heart stopped. She'd called him!  
  
"Tenel Ka! It's been awhile."  
  
"That is a fact, Friend Jacen." 


End file.
